update :)

This weekend was Trace's first 24th of july weekend!!! This is trace during the parade :)

He loves fire works!! I don't know if you can see it but this is a picture of trace watching the fire works :)

ug...

I hate that i lost not just travis but his whole family i miss them all so very much i miss kisses from gavin :) and watching ayden and trace fight over things. I miss having conversations with his mom on her bed. I just miss them all ug.....but most of all i miss him :(

so...

My baby is almost one!! i cant believe it, it seems litterally like yesterday that i had him. its so crazy his birthday photoshoot is on the 20th it should be tons of fun!! i'm super excited

I have been wantting to get more DIYey lol so i have been looking around blogs for ideas for christmas and lexi's mission i'm super excited to start doing and making things for family and friends most of all i'm excited for alexis. not only because she's going to be getting some awesome presents from me and trace but because she's going on her mission. she is doing her dream and i'm so excited for her!! and she is going to love to get packages and mail from me and tracer mainly about trace :) So sister get ready because its going to be AMAZING!! i love you :)

Bla Bla Bla Bla

Today was such a good day :) i love competition and subway is having a contest to see which day can sell the most and increase sales for the day from the previous week. I love contests :) last week i was in the crew that did the increases sales :) I want to this week also.

So it might sound pathetic but i feel little hope just a glimmer of light that maybe me and Trav will get back together. I wish it were true lol I don't know about it though. I know that it sucks. lol

I know that I can handle being a friend i guess i have not other choice huh?

But I am going to give up searching. I officially quit looking. I will live my life for me and me alone i will no longer be trying to look I am living my life for me and my son without. till the day comes that you find me

special

I used to think i was special. that i could be someones everything. that i could always have a person to turn to. I used to think that i wasnt easy to throw away. but i guess i was wrong.

gr

so i take off Wednesdays to be with travis because he usually has them off. but now that we're not together i have nothing to on this Wednesday i have off. i hate it so very much. i hate that i want to pick up the phone and text him and hear his ring tone as he texts me back i hate that i have nothing to do on Wednesdays :( I hate that I not only lost him i lost his whole family oh how i love his family. i hate that trace is loosing that person who was consistently there for him. I vow that till i have dated the guy atleast 5 months they will not meet trace i cant do this again i cant have him confused like this again. i hate this

well this sucks

It's official today has sucked enormously bad!! I got dumped and I miss my best friend so terribly much that is all!

Step 1---Admit you have a problem

Hello my name is Lynnzie, and I'm addicted to jewelry especially a really cute pair of earrings!!!

I am so in love with earrings that I had to buy one of these!! and guess what??? It's almost full!! BAH I don't know what I'm going to do when it is all full!!

Venting Galore!!

OOOOO today I have been so pissed. Cj is being a selfish son of a bitch!! He is choosing to not come to Trace's only first birthday party because he my family doesn't like him. He is constantly saying that he hates missing his firsts but he is willing to miss his biggest first of all!! UGGG he irritates me so bad!! He says he wants to be there for Trace and be his dad but he won't put the effort in he won't try!! GRRR i'm so very pissed off!! Sorry for everyone that is reading this I just need to vent alot because it's not like anyone ever reads this but I would like to think that someone reads this.

Lights oh the Lights

Oh dear heavens, today was a good day :) happy 4th of July everyone :). Although it was my babies last first holiday till his first birthday it was a great and magical day, I do believe. I went over to Travis' house it was pretty much really fun we lit off fireworks Ayden did not like them one bit. My mom wanted to watch Trace so we're going to light off more fireworks tomorrow night so he can watch. But life feels so perfect so amazing right now. Everything has fallen into place I love it so very much. I love the feeling of having Travis wrap his arms around my waist when I'm doing dishes, I love hearing Trace's laugh, watching him grow up has to be one of the best things that I can ever experience! I love them both so very much. I can't tell you how happy I am with life. It feels so right so perfect.

Next weekend Trav's got a wedding that we're planning on going to Aunt Alexis is watching Trace. I bet she is super excited :). I am so excited to see her it feels like it has been forever and a day since I last saw her. I am super excited to spend the weekend with Travis, Lys and Mike. :) I hope it is as fun as I am wanting it to be :)

worthless

This weekend Travis' ex girlfriend/the mother of his son came out to talk to travis about the custody stuff and all that jazz. It officially sucked crazy bad!! I was walking on glass this whole weekend. Travis was angry and irritated and treated me like poop. But through all of that I still stuck around because I knew he needed me. I wish he would of treated me better but I know that he is going through a lot right now so I am trying my hardest to be understanding. So this weekend I was the one sitting in the corner trying to mind my own business and bite my tongue, for Travis. I was looked over, glared at, neglected, and pretty much all around hurt. I officially hate this weekend it was one of the worst weekends I have had in awhile. I wish Trav would understand why I was feeling that way, why I was so hurt about it all. But now we just had a fight over snuff. He is starting to take it because of his headaches. I can't tell you how much it hurt that I asked him so many times not to and he still did. So I asked him to choose between me and snuff and he called me stupid for doing it. Its important to me that Trace has good role models in his life so I asked him not to because Trace I can tell already looks up to him. I hate that its stupid to him that I want him to be a role model to Trace, so I ask him to stop. And on top of everything else my mom was mad at me this whole weekend because I slept over at Travis' because he asked me to because he didn't want her coming over in the middle of the night and she got mad at me. :(